“Big heart, noisy brain”

Blogging about women working and living with ADHD

by Yafa Crane Luria, Queen Bee, educator, business owner, speaker, author & ADHD Strategist since 1984

Yafa Luria 7/22/25 Yafa Luria 7/22/25

Will I see you at WBO?

WBO monthly luncheons: https://womenbusinessowners.org/event-6042340

This Thursday I’ll be presenting online for the monthly luncheon of Women Business Owners. My topic is:

Topic: Big Heart, Noisy Brain: The ADHD Solution to Expansiveness in Business

Here is the summary:

People don’t often think of ADHD as a solution to anything. It’s usually identified as a source of distraction, laziness, troublemaking, and undesired outcomes. In today’s presentation, Yafa Crane Luria, lifelong ADHD advocate and CEO of ADHD Queen Bees, will turn the tables on “conventional wisdom” and demonstrate how ADHD is a road map rather than an obstacle, and how the “Big Heart, Noisy Brain” method will help women business owners expand their vision, their creativity, and their leadership capacity.

By attending this month's luncheon, you will understand:

How conventional wisdom is counterproductive and unsustainable, especially for those with ADHD
How the “Big Heart, Noisy Brain” method isn’t just a catchphrase but a systemic approach to expand your business and your life
How piecing together tips or tweaking your business holds you back, and how a Queen Bee approach is necessary for women business owners

And here is how you reserve your place:

REGISTRATION

If this is your first or second event with WBO, the fee is only $15.00

Yafa Luria 7/21/25 Yafa Luria 7/21/25

ADHD’s Trauma, an Introduction

Depending on your age when first diagnosed with ADHD, and depending on how the people around you reacted to you as a child, you may be experiencing or re-experiencing trauma.

I define trauma as emotional or physical assault (often repeated and relentless) that negatively affects an individual’s ability to engage in peaceful and reciprocal social interaction, whether at home, at school/work, or in any other public or private setting. Trauma can show itself by engaging in any number of addictive and self-harming behaviors: binge-eating, starving, drinking, drugging, violence, self-recrimination and blame, cluttering, hiding, under-earning, over-spending, codependence, and flight, fright, freeze responses like panic attacks. Trauma can be triggered or re-triggered by events that are similar not in context but by the thematic similarities of past circumstances: abandonment, verbal abuse, other abusive situations, which may not be traumatic in themselves but may trigger reactions that feel like you’re reliving those experiences, no matter if they’re clearnly different or not.

For example, in Nursery School, I didn’t speak at all. Well, that’s not totally true. I spoke everywhere and A LOT, except at Nursery School. My mother never had an explanation for that, but it’s pretty striking. It’s called Selective Mutism, and it’s an anxiety disorder. I suspect that I didn’t speak because I was waaaay over-stimulated. I was uncomfortable at birthday parties as well, until I was 8. I’m an only child and my parents were older parents, so I was mostly surrounded by adults in my early years. Plus, it was the first time I had to pay attention all day and, for someone with ADHD, that’s challenging!

As a business owner, I went through a period of deep depression, when I was working three jobs (including 1 full-time business, 1 part-time business, and substitute teaching and school counseling) and my partner was not working at all. I could support myself but I couldn’t support two of us. It was one of the lowest points in my entire life because I felt abandoned by my partner and I felt that I was disappointing my parents (both deceased) and felt I had no one to boost my spirits.

Thousands of school children are ridiculed by classmates (“Did you take your meds?!”), teachers (“She’s using ADHD as an excuse!”) and even school administrators who would “take them down” physically and emotionally. Parents and other family members may also unwittingly try to assert their own dominance before truly understanding the nuances of ADHD and the ways to parent these children successfully.

It is likely that kids with ADHD are often traumatized by simply having to live with a very misunderstood and maligned condition, and it is also likely that those kids grow up to be women business owners who carry that pain inside, affecting their business growth, their parenting skills, and their more intimate relationships.

In closing, I’d like you to listen to this very succinct description of the effects of childhood trauma. And if you are interested in chatting with me about ADHD, contact me here. I am excited to hear from you!

Sending you healing vibes today,

xo Yafa

Yafa Luria 7/12/25 Yafa Luria 7/12/25

TOP 3 ADHD AREAS TO FOCUS ON FIRST

One of the biggest challenges that women in business have when they also have ADHD is that they are often self-taught in a lot of areas. They are avid learners whether there interest is tractor mechanics, income generation, or book writing. Why is this a challenge? What I have learned over the years is that the biggest issues cannot be self-taught because trying to turn a top challenge into a Do-It-Yourself project never addresses the deepest and most nuanced aspects, because only a professional has experienced enough of these nuances to recognize them when they surface.

One of the biggest challenges that women in business have when they also have ADHD is that they are often self-taught in a lot of areas. They are avid learners whether their interest is tractor mechanics, income generation, or book writing. Why is this a challenge? What I have learned over the years is that the biggest issues cannot be self-taught because trying to turn a top challenge into a Do-It-Yourself project never addresses the deepest and most nuanced aspects, because only a professional has experienced enough of these nuances to recognize them when they surface. Here are the ADHD aspects to focus on first, and with a professional:

START HERE. Do not skip this.
Any unresolved grief or anger you may have about your diagnosis. Anything that takes away your focus is depreciating your abilities and your success. ADHD Coaching can help with this, and you may also need a therapist on your team. I often team up with therapists as part of a client’s “Health Team” (with signed permission from the client) and I find that the possibilities are endless.
Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria (or RSD). Holy Moly! This one pops up regularly, and it can be achingly distressing, demoralizing, and debilitating. The voice you hear criticizing you sounds, often, like your own, so it’s difficult to understand that while the pain is real, the things the voice is saying are not true. With the close-to-unlimited ADHD Agility Coaching, those regular invasive thoughts lessen because we can address it together in real time. I also recommend the books, “Taming Your Gremlin,” by Rick Carson, and “No Bad Parts” by Richard Schwartz.
Time Management. Time Management is THE most important skill for people with ADHD. If you don’t understand how time works, it’s very difficult to maintain friendships, show up for family, or make money. The tricky part is that most people relegate Time Management to an Executive Function issue. The assumptions is that it’s a Pre-Frontal Cortex challenge. I’m not scientist, but I know that Executive Function coaching often fails those people with Time Management issues, and I’ve had clients with Executive Function challenges that don’t have Time Management challenges and those clients have 1 salient skill in common. I believe Time Management is a body issue, more akin to gut feelings. I’ll talk more about this next week, but to get some idea of the issue, check out this article.

Cheers til next week!

xo, Yafa